no fish hooking ever

downbyboxcar @ 2004-01-14T13:44:00

2004-01-14T21:44:29Z

stolen from people. you know.

Recommend to me:

1. A movie.
2. A book.
3. A musical artist, song, or album.
4. An LJ user not on my friends list.

I think I know what my problem is.
~~I know everyone on my friends list.~~
I know the majority of the people on my friends list.

Or I'm just g-a-y.

I fell asleep watching a movie. and I don't know why I am looking this way.

2004-01-14T16:52:14Z

I talked to matthew last night. I hardly ever do. I miss him so much.
He's a changed man. Weird. Little matthew? I didn't believe it either.
And he called me a whore. :(

I did it again today.
And its only 8:30.
I'm pathetic.
And I really need to stop.
This whole happiness thing doesn't really work when you're pretending.
I lied twice in the span of like a half an hour.
I'll never get around to saying anything.

I'm going to end up in a mental institution.
It might do me some good actually.
I need an "awakening".

The early November is my new favorite band.
I'm a loser, I know.
No need to inform me.

downbyboxcar @ 2004-01-11T23:35:00

2004-01-12T07:35:49Z

OH MY GOD.
BUY THEM FOR ME.
NOW!

!!!!

NOW!

LOOK AT THE ASS!
AH!

downbyboxcar @ 2004-01-09T00:24:00

2004-01-09T08:24:07Z

TO CLEAR SHIT UP:

The post about music, had nothing to do with erin liking whatever she likes.
Her post made me think of it only because when I hear about new bands, I don't just go buy their cd. I download a song or two and see if I like them.

To EVERYONE
Don't just assume shit.
Most of the time the fucked up things that come out of my head are so fucked up they don't even mean what you think.

downbyboxcar @ 2004-01-08T22:41:00

2004-01-09T06:41:57Z

'welcome aboard, mr pilgrim,' said the loudspeaker. 'any questions?'

billy licked his lips, thought a while, inquired at last: 'why me?'

'that is a very earthling question to ask, mr pilgrim. why you? why us for that matter? why anything? because this moment simply is. have you ever seen bugs trapped in amber?'

'yes.' billy, in fact, had a paperweight in his office which was a blob of polished amber with three lady bugs embedded in it.

'well. here we are, mr. pilgrim, trapped in the amber of this moment. there is no why.'

I just randomly looked at my own profile and liked what I saw.
I thought I would post it.
as a reminder.
that vonnegut still rules.
Brilliance.
wow.

downbyboxcar @ 2004-01-08T22:28:00

2004-01-09T06:28:53Z

I feel like shit. And I still don't like anyone.
And I hate weed.
And I hate coming home and having my house smell like it.
And I hate kissing Jesse and tasting it.
And I hate knowing that everyone around me is high.

We're all spending the night in Ptizzle tomorrow night so we can catch alli's flight tomorrow.

Did I mention I hate weed?
fuck.

downbyboxcar @ 2004-01-08T11:38:00

2004-01-08T19:38:33Z

This is insane.
Alli's flight has been canceled three times.
From now until Sunday, everything is booked except one flight.
Saturday at 6:30 in the morning.
Boo.
Stupid ice.

But it is fun having her here.
I wasn't really sure about her moving here, how I would handle it. I don't live with people easy, but I don't think it would be that bad.

its cold in my house. and I have to work.

downbyboxcar @ 2004-01-07T23:27:00

2004-01-08T07:27:09Z

I don't like when people try to find new music. Music that no one has heard of. When people try to be someone they're not through music.
Like the things you like because you like them, not because you want to be liked.

I'm in bitch moodnumberone today.
I don't really like anyone. and I don't think they like me.
whatever.

Um. end.

downbyboxcar @ 2004-01-07T00:01:00

2004-01-07T08:01:22Z

I don't like how I never say what I feel.
And how I never say the things I wanna say.
And how all of this results in people just thinking I'm stupid.
I just don't like talking about myself personally.
I don't like it when the words come out of my own mouth.
I'll agree to it, if not go on about it, as long as someone else starts out.
blahblahblah.
And this is where my problem steps in and tells me to shut the fuck up.
what-e-ver

Alli and dan are doing the dirty in my living room as I type.
Jesse's asleep.
And I'm sitting at my computer.
Which is also a result of my stupid "problem".

I have to pee. But can't leave my room.
boo boo boo.
At least I get to work tomorrow.
And hang with the matt-inator.
Who is by far the best person in the world.
aw matt.

I just noticed I never posted about new years.
well, I'll sum it up for you.
It sucked. puking,yelling,crying,boo.
I didn't puke. Just everyone else.
boo.

I don't really have anything else to say, except like everything. But that's what started this post.

downbyboxcar @ 2003-12-29T13:21:00

2003-12-29T21:21:44Z

hahaha.
I always just close pop ups and don't read them. But this time I decided too.

"Hi my name is Athena im Daddy's little girl.. Well I was until I got my FIRST DICK."

haha. oh man. goodtimes. made me lauuuugh.

this is where people start hating me.
I'm sitting here looking at the nordstom website and I just don't like fat models.
I'm glad people are starting to like, whatever they're doing.
But I think it looks bad.
And they don't choose like kind of chunky, maybe a little chub around the middle girls. They pick like unhealthy fat people.
I don't want to look at models and say, "Oh fuck. I can't buy that. I'll look like that."
Call me shallow, but its done for a reason.
Skinny models look good. That's why they do it.
Americans are fat and unhealthy. We shouldn't be embracing it and making that okay.

downbyboxcar @ 2003-12-28T01:37:00

2003-12-28T09:37:39Z

number one.
In the movies that I have watched tonight, I have learned that when you decide which sex you like don't try to switch. It doesn't work.

number two.
I am absolutely in love with jason lee.
in love.

downbyboxcar @ 2003-12-24T02:55:00

2003-12-24T10:55:51Z

omg its christmas eve. I hate christmas.

downbyboxcar @ 2003-12-24T02:55:00

2003-12-24T10:55:10Z

Dear Winmx.
I fucking love you.
I love you.
I Love You.
I LOVE YOU.

I'm drunk right now.
:)

I have to pee.
Alli isn't moving here anymore.
I kind of figured.
Jesse might. But only until he goes fire fighting. BUT fuckkk.
I don't fucking know.

What does FCUK mean again?
Something united kingdom?
I was trying to explain it to some people from work and no one understood.

Today was our xmas partay.
I like the people I work with.

I'm kind of confused right now...
OH I need to stop talking.
mmm. I should drink lightly more often.

downbyboxcar @ 2003-12-23T00:21:00

2003-12-23T08:21:31Z

1. What did you do in 2003 that you'd never done before? Lets see. Graduated high school. Quit a job. Lived on my own. Had a broken heart. Lost my virginity. Stole. Fell in love. I think that covers the big stuff.
2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year? I don't make resolutions.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth? Cristina did. I haven't talked to her since she had her though.
4. Did anyone close to you die? I've never had anyone close to me die ever. Knock on wood.
5. What countries did you visit? New mexico is pretty much a different country.
6. What would you like to have in 2004 that you lacked in 2003? Money.
7. What date from 2003 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? I was so going to say June Eighth. But that was June eighth of 2002. SO NEVERMIND.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? Graduating from high school.
9. What was your biggest failure? Moving on to College.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury? I had two colds and one case of food poisoning.
11. What was the best thing you bought? An Apartment? I guess I didn't really buy it. But I'm paying for it. it counts.
12. Whose behavior merited celebration? Besides the fact that Dan is sexist, he's a really nice person. And Matt is probably the most thoughtful. He is -always- thinking about other people. I like that guy. Hes pretty awesome.
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? HAH. Appalled? One person can come to mind. Appalled and depressed? One other person comes to mind. But that was more of just January and February. A little March. And now the little stuff I hear is just gay. And proves my opinion just a little further each time that some people just need to kill themselves.
14. Where did most of your money go? Bills.
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? Alli moving here. Moving out.
16. What song will always remind you of 2003? Probably some Phanplan. Rooney. All American Rejects. Switchfoot. etccc.
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? Happier. A lot of good things have happened this year. I guess.
ii. thinner or fatter? Fatter. I'm always fatter.
iii. richer or poorer? I make more money, but I have less to spend on misc. things.
18. What do you wish you'd done more of? Sticking up for myself. Speaking my mind. Drinking.
19. What do you wish you'd done less of? Dwelling.
20. How will you be spending Christmas? With my mom's side of the family.
22. Did you fall in love in 2003? Sure did. awwwwwww.
23. How many one-night stands? Well, technically. I think the first time I had sex was supposed to be a one night stand. Or at least not turn out like it did. But it did. And I can't really complain.
24. What was your favorite TV program? real world paris. omg malory. I love you.
25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year? Yes.
26. What was the best book you read? breakfast of champions. Was that this year? It wasn't, was it...No. Okay. OH. Perks of Being a Wallflower. That was this year.
27. What was your greatest musical discovery? Probably Phanplan.
28. What did you want and get? A new computer.
30. What was your favorite film of this year? The Italian Job, Grind, and X-Men 2.
31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? I turned 19, got more trashed than I think I ever have and have REALLY embarrassing picture to show for it.
32.What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? I don't really know.
33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2003? A little more American eagle. Less trying to be different.
34. What kept you sane? Probably Erin.
35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? MALORY. DUH. And Bam.
36. What political issue stirred you the most? fuckingarnoldfuckinggovenorfucking stupid.
37. Who did you miss? Pooja. Tons. Always.
38. Who was the best new person you met? The boys. Hands down. fucking stoners.
39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2003: When your parents say that resposibility while living at home will help you grow up and be more mature, they are right.
40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year: "I can't explain all the feeling that you're making me feel. My heart's in over drive and you're behind the stearing wheel."
"I love you, but I hate you
Which brings to mind, how much I love you.
We could have worked this out you know in a little room...
in a little locked room.
I'm sorry you had to settle for Dave, the 1 dimensional man.
He's filed under cock sucker in my little black book.
Sweetness can rot your teeth.
Bittersweet cacophony.
But you hold the key, you hold the key to my little locked room.
But you hold the key, you hold the key to my little locked room whoa oh whoa
Please let me out soon.
I la you"

So I tried to download this song and I could have fucking sworn it was by Thrice. I also could have sworn it was called we are the dead. But the only song by thrice I found that had the word dead in it was absolutely the worst song I have ever heard and I tried to look up we are the dead and all I got was motorhead and david bowie. That's not what I want.
Help me.

ilatguk.

2003-12-22T07:22:39Z

dear get up kids.
we were -obviously- meant to be best friends.
xo.
ellen.

p.s. Check out the record "Arthur" by The Kinks. Especially the song "Victoria", I can't get that song out of my head.
[written by matt in the news section of their website. sure it was written in oct. BUT WHATEVER.]

I love diarrhea.

2003-12-21T08:11:33Z

This is the kind of stuff my gramma sends me by email.
And weird jokes. usually having to do with religion or something slightly sexual. shes a weirdo. but you gotta love her.
http://www.riversongs.net/Flas/seasons.html

omgomgomgomgomg.
omg.
tguk.
march 30th.
aladdin theatre.
omgomgomg.
omg.
if you didn't catch that.
omg.

The bands that I can list off the top of my head that I NNEEEEDD to see live.
-jet.
-queens of the stone age.
-jew. I need to see jew at least once before I die. and they need to not open for weezer. or blink. headline themselves. mmm.

I had carl's jr for lunch today. and the sandwich kind of tasted like mold. and now my stomach really hurts. blag.

so. The other day at work we were eating clementines cuz our produce people brought us a huge box and Chris and Matt were going to have an eating contest to see who could eat the most of them and I go, "yeah and get diarrhea." and matt just goes, "I love diarrhea."
Hello to my favorite quote of all time.

downbyboxcar @ 2003-12-15T01:05:00

2003-12-15T08:06:01Z

I think I am in the shittiest mood I have ever been in. Like straight up bitchy and pissed off. Like I am PMSing the worst PMS I have ever PMSed. Except I'm not. Unless my PMSing lasts a good two weeks. Which would suck. I hope it doesn't.
Actually its the dammnn birth control. Seriously, to anyone who isn't on it. Its the devil.
It has done two good things for me. And only two. My skin is way clear. And I'm not pregnant.
Other than that, I hate it.
Is it this bad for everyone else?
I admit this new stuff is better than Desagen. But the only difference is my body doesn't ache ALL the time, I don't get headaches, and my sight didn't get worse.
Other than that, all these fucking hormones running through my body, the extra pounds, my boobs being EVEN bigger, meHATINGeverythingever...I have to switch again.
I just have to "find the one that's right for me".
Bullshit.
The other stuff I was just straight depressed all the time. The new pill, I'm just pissed off all the time.
Which is better?

I've been wanting to say all that for a long time.

Alli is moving down here. I really hope its not bad. I don't think it will be. I think it will end up okay. But at first she won't know anyone. and she won't have a job. and she won't be going to school. So that will leave all of my time involving her really.
Unless her and Dan fall madly in love and he occupies her time. Which would be tiiiight.
And oh so precious.
Best friends dating best friends. come on, guys. Who doesn't want that?
Erin, why do you think I've been trying to hook you up with all of them?
PRECIOUS.

I hate Whitney. I really hate her.
We kind of got into it today. It ended with her calling me mom and telling me that she doesn't have time to "play my fucking games'.
Hi. Paying your bills on time is now a game.
Cleaning up after yourself. now a game.
not being a fucking bitch and actually respecting someone else other than yourself. now a game.
die.
I don't even want to talk about it. It makes me want to kill people. Seriously. I think about confronting her, and saying all the things I want to say to her. And it ends with me grabbing her by the hair and slamming her face into a wall/through a window/against a door/etc. EVERYFUCKINGTIME.
Is that bad?

I had a bad day at work. Bad. Started at ten. Had 197 giant originals to roll. 60 larges. 3 batches of pans. 48 to par-bake. 23 to make. No tomatoes. One large box. Plus everything else that comes along with a day. 200 dollar hours between two people in the afternoon. you know, the norm. Closer #1 called in sick. Covered that like a jimmy hat. everyone came in. working hard. 5:30 rolls around [I'm off at 5. right.] Closer #2 is in the bathroom throwing up. Fuck. Everyone who wasn't working couldn't work for various reasons. I call Dan, he says Aaron who has been there since 2 and not had a break closes and I stay until 7. As long as I am out of there by 7 and everyone else is cool, whatever. I get off the phone with Dan and take three complaint calls because people don't know there own name. Kristen, when do I get my break? should I take a break now? can I go on break yet? 7 rolls around, Jesse calls me because we are supposed to see Stuck on You at 7:30. I say fuck it. I leave at like 7:10. I didn't finish all the office work so I have to go in like 45 minutes early tomorrow so I can do that. Plus all my regular shit.
THEN. as I'm leaving Geoff says, "Can I talk to you?"
blahblahblah respect for having manager responsibilities. making decisions on a whim. wishywashy guy. Laid back. blahblahblah.
but hes serious when he says he needs a 30 minutes break to get some food.
FOR WORKING THREE HOURS.
Hi. You don't even get a break as is, let alone a half. FUCK that.
but...he doesn't really take change in well. and all the change that day with work really messed him up.
A big change from having to call in at 5 and just coming in at 5.

I think that is all I have to share about.

Last night Ryan and I fucking rocked the fuck out to Jet in his car. Full on singing at the tops of our lungs, air guitar, head groovin rocking out.
Filed under, One of the better memories.

I have one more thing to whine about. But this one makes me sofuckingmad that I don't even think I could get started. I have never once confronted this, and I don't think I ever will. I usually at least confront things in my head. Converse about them with myself. But this...I've never even done that. I don't think I could. I don't like it.

That was like a breath of fresh air.

downbyboxcar @ 2003-12-11T12:57:00

2003-12-11T19:57:55Z

1) What's the first person you slept with's middle name?
which one? They have two.

2) What kind of underwear are you wearing? And what color?
white express thong. hott.

3) What song do you want played at your funeral?
I want kelly to sing "total eclipse of the heart".

4) What is the number of your sluttiest friend?
I don't know whitney's number off the top of my head. I'll get back to you.

5) What would your last meal be before being executed?
shrimp.

6) Beatles or Stones?
Beatles.

7) If you had to pick one person on earth to die, who would it be?
someone who I think needs to just kill themselves anyway. end of story.

8) The person whose problems you wouldn't want to hear?
I stopped answering the phone when sean calls. you can only do so much when someone calls you three times a day.

9) What is the thing most important to you about the preferred sex?
iiiii don't know.

10) Do you secretly hate some of your friends, but are too nice to reject them?
most of them.

11) If you could have any superpower what would it be?
the ability to eat anything and lose weight.

12) Favorite hangover cure?
sleep.

13) How many drinks does it take to get you drunk?
I can feel it after two-three shots.
or one shot of 151.

14) Favorite OutKast lyric?
"Lend me some sugar. I am your neighbor."

15) Hair color you most like someone you're dating to have?
I don't really care.

16) If you had to be blind or deaf?
blind

17) Do you have any psychiatric problems?
probably.

18) Siblings that should go to rehab?
Tyler. Definitely.

19) Least favorite month?
December. or July.

20) Favorite hateful thing to do to somebody?
kill them.

21) 1st movie you remember seeing as a kid?
The Little Mermaid. It was for my birthday.

22) Favorite person in the whole world?
Bam Margera.

23) When's the last time you went on a date?
Hah. I have no idea. Jesse and I went and saw Gothika with his mom's money. Does that count?

24) Do you like violent movies or dirty movies?
I don't know. either.

25) Fall or spring?
Fall.

26) Person you most wish you hadn't made out with?
James.

27) If you are straight, what person of the same sex would you do it with?
Shakira.

28) Where do you want to live when you are old and brittle?
In a coffin six feet under.

29) Who is the person you can count on the most?
Hank jr.

30) If you could date any celebrity, past or present, time and age are not a factor.
Mike Herrera 1996-1999.

31) What books have you pretended to read?
Almost all the required reading I have ever had to do. Except for Summer of my German Soldier freshman year and Slaughter-house five junior year.

32) What's a word you'd use to describe your life?
chaotic

33) What's your favorite drinking game?
Kings. Duh.

34) What did you dream about last night?
I don't remember.

35) What's the last thing you'd ever tell someone?
Of course you can borrow large sums of money from me.

downbyboxcar @ 2003-12-05T13:25:00

2003-12-05T20:25:59Z

I don't really know what to say.
I don't really have anything to say.
I need to take a shower.
and eat something.

My gramma took me shopping last night.
It was wonderful.
She bought me stuff for my house.
yeah.

I got this done.
becareful. Its really up close and big.
I also think becareful should be one word.

I have to go shower now.
There are too many people in my house.

downbyboxcar @ 2003-11-26T12:35:00

2003-11-26T20:35:26Z

Dan told me that comparing the stupid slut that was at my party to me would be like comparing an old E forty to tarantula. Leave it to good ol Dan to boost my self-esteem.

I'm back on the band wagon. Thanksgiving is not a good time to start. But we will see. I'll know I'm winning when I order the same amount of food as Erin.

I went and saw Love Actually last night. I seriously asked like 98234 million people to go with me. Actually like three BUT whatever. I ended up calling Pfeff like 15 minutes before it started and we went. I love Hugh Grant. Love.

I am addicted to Taco Bell. Addicted. Did you know a bean burrito only has like 8 grams of fat or something. Its not like surprising, but its cool. And if you order it without cheese, it tastes exactly the same and is even better. omg. Well it tastes the same for me, but that's cuz one bean burrito gets three packets of hot sauce. mmm. I need to stop talking about it right now. mmmm.

I have decided that Desagen is the devil and if anyone is put on it ever. they should not take it. CUZ IT SUCKS.
Maybe I'll get into that more later.

I hate Christmas.
Everyone who is expecting a present from me should comment and tell me what they want that I can buy at the best buy website. and it will be yourrrssss.
I'm really serious.
really.
do it.

I work now.

downbyboxcar @ 2003-11-23T13:42:00

2003-11-23T20:42:50Z

oh lordie. I don't really remember much.
But I had fun I'm pretty sure.

rad like that: every now and then I remember a little something from last night.
rad like that: Erin and Erin were telling me about stuff last night and I don't remember shiiiit
jugaloaudio: Like what?
rad like that: I couldn't figure out why my cheek hurt his morning. Then they reminded me I fell into the keg.
jugaloaudio: LOL
jugaloaudio: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
jugaloaudio: YOU DIDN"T HOLD YOURSELF UP AND YOU FACEPLANTED INTO THAT SHIT
rad like that: I had never taken a keg stand before. I didn't know what I was doing.
jugaloaudio: LoL
jugaloaudio: I was suppose to feed the beer to you and I couldn't for a second cause I was laughin so hard

downbyboxcar @ 2003-11-21T23:33:00

2003-11-22T06:33:29Z

I think today has been the worst day of my life.
If tomorrow isn't any better I swear to god I am going to contemplate suicide.

rip sanchito.
moment of silence.

how much do you bet no one will respond.

2003-11-21T04:15:13Z

This message is addressed to everyone who is reading this post.

I want you to post anything that you want.
Anything.
Post a story, a secret, a confession, a fear, a love - anything.

Be sure to post honestly and anonymously, though.
Post as many times as you'd like, and then put this in your LJ to see what your friends (and perhaps others who you don't even realize read your LJ) have to say.

downbyboxcar @ 2003-11-18T12:40:00

2003-11-18T08:40:42Z

I don't really know whats going on right now.

I want this so bad.
Christmas. Birthday. Tomorrow. Anyone?

I have a good xmas idea. but first I have to ask.

Jesse just left. His mom supposedly bought me a present in Calif. Which is cool, I guess if you think about it. I just want to know what it is. OH MAN.

I have nothing else to say.
EXCEPT FOR!
FIVE DAYS UNTIL THE BIG DAY.
[the big day would be my birthday.]

I call you fo real cuz you da truf.

2003-11-15T17:07:06Z

Oh man it is way too early. And I feel like shit. I swear, if I get sick. I will kill. KILL.
I have to work at ten which is early enough but I had to come by Jesse's and let the dog out and what not. You know.
I'm back at Figaros. Its great. I'm glad I'm back.
My head hurts.
I still haven't gotten an email back from that guy about my house. It makes me sad. I really want to live there. But the more I think about it, I don't know if I can afford it. I really want too. I probably could.
Dogs are really weird creatures. I don't think I get it. I just like cats more, I guess.
Oh I think I am going to go get jamba juice. That sounds good. Yeah.